I’ve always got a lot of props for the intentionality around designing & building my physical surroundings as it’s own world before even layering the virtual aesthetics that end up being seen during live streams or videos of music making sessions. Highlighting a lifetime of collecting / supporting physical art / music that becomes aesthetic curation in the world building. But Aesthetics & functionality don’t often align or come easy. Due to constraints of room design, where walls, doors, window placement this can become challenging as a musician. Speaker placement for mixing & mastering has very important roles in hearing back your audio accurately, things can still sound good to your ear, but getting this wrong can cause you over/under compensate on highs,lows,mids, not detect phasing issues, a whole list of things. Now add camera intentionality into the mix, lighting, & a dozen peripheral & midi devices & things become more complicated. Adding Aesthetic into the mix is a bonus.
For me personally, the last decade I realized my body leans left, my neck wants to turn left, hurts turning right, so this was an extra functionality issue I’ve always had to work around. In 2021 shortly after filming the video you see playing on the TV, leaning left wasn’t enough, I couldn’t sit up in general without being in pain. I didn’t understand it but it was reality, so this led floor set ups for productivity which didn’t really work but pretending I could tough it out keeping my set up normal would just lead to less time working/creating. It wasn’t until December 2023 I found out why I leaned left & why I could no longer sit up like a normal human. There was / is a tumor on the top/mid left side on my spine, whether this is benign or not I didn’t find out due to a situation that sparked the “proof of life” (continued…) collection. Unfortunately, collections were removed so going back to find context as it’s meant to be organized is no longer a thing.
Long story short. I now at least know there is a reason for my handicap & know being stubborn pretending it doesn’t exist because even to me it feels so silly & unreal, just results in looking at a set up I can’t utilize.
I’ve gotten so behind on being an artist the past few years distracted by documenting proof of the life dedicated to that craft. It felt like a worthy distraction when the illusion of organization, control, permanence, and possible value was still on the table, so losing all that really made it hard to swallow how much time I can’t back being a artist in the present occurred. Combine that with the post attention economy + disposable social content pressures. I really lost a lot of valuable time and because those factors are a zero sum game, even thinking about sharing art in a void makes creating new stuff less desirable & even a negative experience.
When you’re a person who values getting lost in creativity to the point that even your physicals surroundings become art, not looking forward to or having time to live your purpose feels terrible.
I used to hardly ever explain myself virtually, i communicated my thoughts, feelings strictly through the art I got lost in.
I’m tired of typing things out, especially in an age where attention spans to digest depth & length are so rare the people that still retained this lost art themselves should be 1/1’s
My blood pressure has been in very dangerous ranges & I know what makes it worse. So I unplugged my router for a few days, put my phone on dnd and placed it far far out of reach. and while whatever is happening to me healthwise, still was very present even without access to external stress, how I processed it mentally improved 1000x
I don’t know where I’m going with this now, a side effect of temporarily allowing myself to grab my phone to document briefly what goes into achieving the end result of what’s captured isn’t always easy, takes time and often a lot of trial and error.
I miss being an artist, I miss being healthy and miss being happy and present. I owe it to myself to find my way back to that even it means removing my access to humanity via the digital world & it’s access to me.
dutchyyy
I’ve always got a lot of props for the intentionality around designing & building my physical surroundings as it’s own world before even layering the virtual aesthetics that end up being seen during live streams or videos of music making sessions. Highlighting a lifetime of collecting / supporting physical art / music that becomes aesthetic curation in the world building. But Aesthetics & functionality don’t often align or come easy. Due to constraints of room design, where walls, doors, window placement this can become challenging as a musician. Speaker placement for mixing & mastering has very important roles in hearing back your audio accurately, things can still sound good to your ear, but getting this wrong can cause you over/under compensate on highs,lows,mids, not detect phasing issues, a whole list of things. Now add camera intentionality into the mix, lighting, & a dozen peripheral & midi devices & things become more complicated. Adding Aesthetic into the mix is a bonus.
For me personally, the last decade I realized my body leans left, my neck wants to turn left, hurts turning right, so this was an extra functionality issue I’ve always had to work around. In 2021 shortly after filming the video you see playing on the TV, leaning left wasn’t enough, I couldn’t sit up in general without being in pain. I didn’t understand it but it was reality, so this led floor set ups for productivity which didn’t really work but pretending I could tough it out keeping my set up normal would just lead to less time working/creating. It wasn’t until December 2023 I found out why I leaned left & why I could no longer sit up like a normal human. There was / is a tumor on the top/mid left side on my spine, whether this is benign or not I didn’t find out due to a situation that sparked the “proof of life” (continued…) collection. Unfortunately, collections were removed so going back to find context as it’s meant to be organized is no longer a thing.
Long story short. I now at least know there is a reason for my handicap & know being stubborn pretending it doesn’t exist because even to me it feels so silly & unreal, just results in looking at a set up I can’t utilize.
I’ve gotten so behind on being an artist the past few years distracted by documenting proof of the life dedicated to that craft. It felt like a worthy distraction when the illusion of organization, control, permanence, and possible value was still on the table, so losing all that really made it hard to swallow how much time I can’t back being a artist in the present occurred. Combine that with the post attention economy + disposable social content pressures. I really lost a lot of valuable time and because those factors are a zero sum game, even thinking about sharing art in a void makes creating new stuff less desirable & even a negative experience.
When you’re a person who values getting lost in creativity to the point that even your physicals surroundings become art, not looking forward to or having time to live your purpose feels terrible.
I used to hardly ever explain myself virtually, i communicated my thoughts, feelings strictly through the art I got lost in.
I’m tired of typing things out, especially in an age where attention spans to digest depth & length are so rare the people that still retained this lost art themselves should be 1/1’s
My blood pressure has been in very dangerous ranges & I know what makes it worse. So I unplugged my router for a few days, put my phone on dnd and placed it far far out of reach. and while whatever is happening to me healthwise, still was very present even without access to external stress, how I processed it mentally improved 1000x
I don’t know where I’m going with this now, a side effect of temporarily allowing myself to grab my phone to document briefly what goes into achieving the end result of what’s captured isn’t always easy, takes time and often a lot of trial and error.
I miss being an artist, I miss being healthy and miss being happy and present. I owe it to myself to find my way back to that even it means removing my access to humanity via the digital world & it’s access to me.
Trial & Error.
Filenotfound.
<3 Dutchyyy
200000 $enjoy Because I wrote a lot <3✧